so many things you could be doing

Right now I’m writing a six part series. I’d say that it requires all of my attention but really it requires about ten times my attention.

An interesting thing happens every time things get tough creatively. It comes more regularly when I’m feeling incapable. I start to think of all the intensive improv courses I could take or all the stand up open mics I could sign up for or all the venues and promoters I could pitch myself to as a DJ. The idea of doing these things feels particularly vivid and exciting in that moment. It also feels a lot safer than pushing on with what I’m doing. 

I think about all the ways I’m stupid for not doing these things right this second and why I should totally just drop what I’m doing right now (ie. writing this script).

It tells me to run to these other things when it’s really trying to get me to run away from what I’ve already committed myself to. I have to constantly bring myself back to focus on the task in hand again and again and again.